Strength

Sometimes I am shocked by the amount of strength God allows us to gain. God allows us to stay in the sometimes taxing circumstances in order to help us absorb all that we possibly can that will be beneficial for us and our happiness in our future (Mosiah 24, Moses 1:39) How Grateful I am for Elder Holland who constantly reminds us of the importance of taking our own individual steps toward the Garden of Gethsemane.
When I was in in 8th grade, a friend of mine who was older than I was tried to convince me to run for student council. She told me that she saw LEADER written all over me. At that time in my life, I was trying to find where I fit in, what my talents were, and what future goals I should set. I had just moved out into the country and I felt like I was given a new beginning. I remember going to the meeting where all those who were interested in being in student government were to attend. I looked around the room and felt a strange sense of inadequacy. I also remember that night sitting on our front porch with my mom watching the sunset and letting her hold me as I vulnerably confessed how I felt. I remember my mom sitting me up, holding onto my shoulders, staring me in the eyes and said "Kristi, greatness doesn't come by sitting around and doing nothing- it comes from living what you know is true, believing in hope, fighting for the right cause and not being afraid to stand out." That night I made a poster and put it up on my wall, it read: "Tough Times Never Last But Tough People Do."
That night set the precedence for the rest of my life to this point. What is interesting is that although I can put up a good fight (for a good cause) deep in my heart still resides that young 13 year old girl who doesn't want to fight for things- she just wants to fit in.
A teacher that I respect that works with me at the MTC once shared a memorized poem with my district as a parting gift to them. I have clung to this poem ever since as I truly cherish its power and validity!

Good Timber
by Douglas Malloch

The tree that never had to fight For sun and sky and air and light,But stood out in the open plain And always got its share of rain, Never became a forest king But lived and died a scrubby thing.
The man who never had to toil To gain and farm his patch of soil,Who never had to win his share Of sun and sky and light and air, Never became a manly man But lived and died as he began.
Good timber does not grow with ease: The stronger wind, the stronger trees; The further sky, the greater length; The more the storm, the more the strength. By sun and cold, by rain and snow, In trees and men good timbers grow.
Where thickest lies the forest growth,We find the patriarchs of both.And they hold counsel with the stars Whose broken branches show the scars Of many winds and much of strife. This is the common law of life.
(Thanks Mitch)

What is the secret to gaining strength? Elder Ballard in this months Ensign says: As people become self-reliant, they are better prepared to endure adversities and are better able to car for others in need." Is strength always a good thing? This I am not sure of anymore. If you would have asked me when I was 20 I would have to you without any doubt that strength is a positive thing. However, no that I am older and have been through more trying experiences I am starting to wonder. I am grateful for strength that comes through trials but recently I have learned to be grateful for vulnerability as well. Balance!!!! Isn't that always what I am working on? lol I am so grateful for the things in my life that have given me strength. I am also grateful for the ability to feel vulnerable- thank you friend (you know who you are) I appreciate the things that I have learned from you.