Thursday, March 12, 2009

Really?

So, I don't have a cold sore!!!! Thank goodness because I had never had one before and I don't want to start now...besides if I would have gotten one I would have wanted it to be worth it! (wink, wink)
They are now thinking that I either bit it in my sleep, or something else bit my lip. Really? This stuff really happens? lol Just my luck eh? I look like I just got done boxing! Ha, ha, ha. Today is a busy day of work, school, and a job fair and I still look like Bubba Gump! But hey it could be worse right?

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Bucket List


So, believe it or not, I have a bucket list. There are so many things I want to do while I am alive that I wrote them all down right before I graduated from High School. Just this morning I went back and looked at it (I carry it around with me to where ever I move to). I realized that my list has become very short. I have about completed everything that is on my list of things to do in my life. One that I had not yet done was to go out of the country. Well, a couple texts later from a past comp. from the mish I had booked a trip to Mexico! I am so excited!
A part of me can't wait to cross this goal off of my list and yet at the same time I am worried about running out of things that I have always dreamed of doing. I am reading a book that is currently talking about changing your dreams and making new dreams. I think that I am in that process right now. I am trying to figure out what path to take. Making new dreams isn't always easy but sometimes there's a definate need for change.
What a great time to be alive. SO many people say that your twenties are your most confusing, frusterating, wild and crazy times of your entire life... I think that I am starting to understand that more fully now. hhhmmmm.... I better go dream and get back to you eh? No worries. I'll dream BIG!!!!! I always do!

Stress Case

Hillarious! I am sitting at home....trying to put my emotions into words.
This past weekend was really stressful, hurtful, exhausting, memorable, unexplainable and needed. On Thursday night I had that experience with my dad. On Friday morning I was in the hospital for my stomach test which didn't go very well. Right after that I went to lunch with my Boyfriend and he and I broke up..... then believe it or not I then had to go to work. After work I spoke with my boyfriend again but by the time he dropped me off at home....it was So long-farewell. Saturday I had a practicum meeting up in SLC and then rushed back to barely make it for work in time. When I got back home I had to answer to roommates, hometeachers, friends, and family members who were all wondering what in the world was going on with my life (not a fun thing to explain). Then I went and got all the food for the ward activity and then finally I was going to relax, mourn and heal. SO FUNNY! My roommates and I bought Hot n Ready's (the only true thing to help a girl heal), candy, ice cream, pop.... you name it- we all got it. We then turned on a random movie....lol low and behold the plot is that this guy can't get a girl so he pretends to be from New Zeland!!!!!! Suddenly all the stuff we had just bought didn't taste good, and I was ready to turn my mind off and go to bed!
On Sunday I got up really early and my parents and I drove up to Idaho. My cousin was being made a teacher and so we had a family get-together. It was bitter-sweet. The questions went in this order: #1. Where's your boyfriend? 2. Why did you break up? #3. What did you do this time? #4. Are you ever going to get married? #5. How have your tests been going? #6. When do you graduate? Do you get the picture? It was overwhelming! As great as it was to see everyone- I was an emotional wreck! I escaped as soon as I could and headed to Rexburg.
That was just what I needed. I saw a Recent Convert from the Mish. I saw Mission friends and my old roommate Stacey. That night Stacey and I went up to the Rexburg temple and layed the seats back in my car and stared up at the magnificant building. We laughed, cried, and set goals. It was just what I needed to give me perspective. I left the temple that night determined and resolute to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Monday came and besides my Grandfathers lecture on not being too picky about my future husband, the day went by well until the wedding. It was all that I could do to keep from crying. My old companion got married at the Shelton in Idaho Falls. There were so many things that I wish could have been different but when I saw the happiness that was in each of their eyes- I couldn't help but be happy for them and the fact that they have each other in this life. It was hard to say good-bye to one of my closest friends. She's my travel buddy, my twin, and my sister. I wish them well! They are moving to Texas.
Well, the weekend though it was hard, it wasn't that bad and yet I woke up with my entire face on fire, and my lips swollen and a sore on my lower lip. I have never had a cold sore before so I am not sure if that is what it is. Am I stressed? lol Is this what stress does to a person? I sure hope not! lol Really, I thought that I was fine and that things were really looking up and that I was handling things well. Ha ha ha....I'm gonna practice my deep breathing today lol!

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Strength

Sometimes I am shocked by the amount of strength God allows us to gain. God allows us to stay in the sometimes taxing circumstances in order to help us absorb all that we possibly can that will be beneficial for us and our happiness in our future (Mosiah 24, Moses 1:39) How Grateful I am for Elder Holland who constantly reminds us of the importance of taking our own individual steps toward the Garden of Gethsemane.
When I was in in 8th grade, a friend of mine who was older than I was tried to convince me to run for student council. She told me that she saw LEADER written all over me. At that time in my life, I was trying to find where I fit in, what my talents were, and what future goals I should set. I had just moved out into the country and I felt like I was given a new beginning. I remember going to the meeting where all those who were interested in being in student government were to attend. I looked around the room and felt a strange sense of inadequacy. I also remember that night sitting on our front porch with my mom watching the sunset and letting her hold me as I vulnerably confessed how I felt. I remember my mom sitting me up, holding onto my shoulders, staring me in the eyes and said "Kristi, greatness doesn't come by sitting around and doing nothing- it comes from living what you know is true, believing in hope, fighting for the right cause and not being afraid to stand out." That night I made a poster and put it up on my wall, it read: "Tough Times Never Last But Tough People Do."
That night set the precedence for the rest of my life to this point. What is interesting is that although I can put up a good fight (for a good cause) deep in my heart still resides that young 13 year old girl who doesn't want to fight for things- she just wants to fit in.
A teacher that I respect that works with me at the MTC once shared a memorized poem with my district as a parting gift to them. I have clung to this poem ever since as I truly cherish its power and validity!

Good Timber
by Douglas Malloch

The tree that never had to fight For sun and sky and air and light,But stood out in the open plain And always got its share of rain, Never became a forest king But lived and died a scrubby thing.
The man who never had to toil To gain and farm his patch of soil,Who never had to win his share Of sun and sky and light and air, Never became a manly man But lived and died as he began.
Good timber does not grow with ease: The stronger wind, the stronger trees; The further sky, the greater length; The more the storm, the more the strength. By sun and cold, by rain and snow, In trees and men good timbers grow.
Where thickest lies the forest growth,We find the patriarchs of both.And they hold counsel with the stars Whose broken branches show the scars Of many winds and much of strife. This is the common law of life.
(Thanks Mitch)

What is the secret to gaining strength? Elder Ballard in this months Ensign says: As people become self-reliant, they are better prepared to endure adversities and are better able to car for others in need." Is strength always a good thing? This I am not sure of anymore. If you would have asked me when I was 20 I would have to you without any doubt that strength is a positive thing. However, no that I am older and have been through more trying experiences I am starting to wonder. I am grateful for strength that comes through trials but recently I have learned to be grateful for vulnerability as well. Balance!!!! Isn't that always what I am working on? lol I am so grateful for the things in my life that have given me strength. I am also grateful for the ability to feel vulnerable- thank you friend (you know who you are) I appreciate the things that I have learned from you.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Finding the Strength

It's four in the morning and I just got in from a very defining night for me. Tonight after school I came in same as always and went right into my roommates room and heard all about her day and her "guy" highlights. I made the round to my other roommates to see how they were doing and for some reason felt a prompting to call my mom (The only reason why this was a weird prompting was because I was clinging to my phone in hopes my boyfriend would call or text). Regardless, I called my mom and to my surprise she informed me that she was at the hospital with my Dad. My Dad that night had gone up the canyon in our horse and slay and they had gotten ito an accident. At the time, my mom had no news to report on how my Dad was doing other than the fact that she knew he landed on his head when he and the horses crashed into a ravine. I was horrified. I grabbed my things as quickly as I could and informed two of my roommates that I wouldn't be coming back tonight and I rushed out the door.
On my way to the hospital so many thoughts went through my head....many of my thoughts were towards blessings I have recieved that I take for granted due to my busy schedule. I was also grateful that I live close enough that I could go to the hospital and be of comfort or help. My thoughts were interupted by a dear friend who always seems to know when I am in distress. As soon as I heard my phone ring I started to cry- not even knowing who it was. God knew that I needed someone to talk to on my way down to Payson- I am so grateful for those who are in tune with the spirit!
When I got to the hospital my dad looked horrible but he had a smile on his face and of course a few pun's and jokes for everyone. We waited at the hospital until they finally released him saying that he is a walking miracle. Barely able to move, my Dad looked at me in all seriousness and said "I need you." I knew exactly what for...the horses. The horses were left up the canyon and they were assumed to be in bad shape. My father who never cries...except for when a horse dies...was worried that he might have to shoot one of them. I told him that I could take care of it all by myself....ha ha ha! I was in Heels a collared shirt and Banana Republic pants!!!!! He took one look at me and said "Not a chance!" I don't blame him.......I kind of strayed from the country thing he wanted me to get into. lol
The next thing I knew I was at my parents house dressing up in someones snowsuit (three of me could have fit in it.) We found a bunch of odds and ends to keep me warm and we headed up the canyon. I was shocked when I felt my emotions rise to the surface when I saw our two horses at the bottom of the revine standing tall. The slay was mangled in a bunch of tree's and the horses were covered in blood.
I had no idea how we were going to get them out of the revine! But sure enough my "man from snowy river" Dad started climbing down in....crying with pain as he went. I was in charge of locating the rope on the mangeled slay, getting it unattached and then whirling it down the revine and pulling the horses up....piece of cake right? lol I don't know if my Dad has ever been more proud of me...he was in so much pain that once I finally got the horses stable with my mom I went down and helped my dad up to the top of the revine. His entire body shook in pain and I was busy trying to figure out if my Dad was my hero or a crazy guy for doing what we were doing.!!!!!
We ended up walking the horses down to the stables which was quite a way down the mountian especially with the horses hurt... but we got it done and them loaded and we all made it safely home. My Dad was a gonner by the time we made it back and so he had me feed the horses...no biggie right? I mean I did just help save their lives....or not. Using a pitch fork and throwing hay over tall fences is so not my thing!!!! Nor was I any good at it!!!! lol But I did it and thats what matters! lol lol lol
As I finally came in from an exhausted night I took one long look at my mom and observed how she cared for my father and how she fussed over different techniques that would help him get better. How grateful I am for loving parents who care for each other and for me. They are fighters. No matter what stands in their way they know that they will endure and be there for each other at the end of the day. Tonight was such a lesson to me of finding strength to put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward. My family was tremendously blessed tonight and I am grateful that God still teaches us lessons about life-even if it is in the middle of the night!

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Right Time and Right Place

I don't really have time to write this right now but I am afraid that if I don't I will forget some of the things that happened...
Once upon a time I went on a mission. It was an incredible mission...trust me I don't mind talking about it....so.....if you ever want to hear some good stories of knocking on doors- come find me. Believe it or not, the MTC was not that fun for me. Don't get me wrong it had its moments, but all in all I felt like I didn't belong there, that I was behind, and that I stuck out like a sore thumb.
I quite a few moments kneeling on the girls bathroom floor praying for strength and any other kind of help! My mission only got harder after the MTC but the difference was that my attitude had changed and I put all my faith in the Lord.
Today one of my sweetest missionaries seemed to be struggling...I felt prompted to tell about my experiences in the MTC....I don't ever do that. This sweet Elder started to get emotional. After the closing prayer I felt prompted to have a progress meeting with him...even though I was running late. I stayed and spoke with him and time stood still as if I didn't have any other cares in the world except for this servant of God.
He opened up to me and said that he had decided this morning that he wasn't cut out for missionary work because he is older, not as educated, and his family is struggling. He said that he hadn't felt the spirit the last two days...until I finally came in today. We spent four hours in class today- my Elders are troopers for putting up with me for that long! He said he felt the spirit the whole time and knew that he needed to talk to me- but what he didn't know was that I was going to speak to him in front of the whole class. He was shocked abotu the things that I brought up not knowing what it was he was struggling with.
As we spoke one on one, he cried harder than I may have ever seen anyone cry. He has been through a lot! His dreams of swimming for BYU were shattered with an injury and his family is really struggling and all he wanted was to be some place where he felt like he belonged. The Mother in me just wanted to hold him and fight his battles for him; however, I knew that the Lord needed today to happen for him....just as I needed a day similar to this one for me years ago when I was in the MTC.
As I bore solid testimony to him about the importance of the atonement, God's love, and missionary work....my heart grew as I yet again was reminded that "every good thing in my life is a direct result of me serving a mission." I realized that one day he will look back and say the same thing.
It's amazing how we bless each others lives...sometimes without even knowing that down the road we are going to meet. I feel that way right now. The people in my life....they have experienced similar things as I have and yet some of them were oceans a part from where I was at the time. How grateful I am for the web that God threads of our lives!

Monday, March 2, 2009

Weekend of Victory!

This past weekend I went through some of the hardest things and yet it was one of the besst weekends I have had in the longest time!
I got up early for work and tried to do all that I could for the Elders in such a short time that I could be there with them. Then, my mom came and picked me up from the MTC and drove me over for my final surgery on my neck............That was painful!!!!!!!!! But my Mom satyed with me all day and my roommates came and kept us company and even my younger brother and his wife came by and visited with us! I felt so loved and supported! I even was spoiled enough to get a beautiful flower with the most adorable note! All of these tender mercies pushed me forward. They gave me courage to keep going and fight through the pain and search for the good in hard situations. That night regardless of how I felt I went to the Vanilla Ice & MC Hammer concert. It was a riot! It was hard to stay there the whole time because I was in a lot of pain but I was so glad that I got to go and make some more memories! There's nothing like good music to remind you of your childhood!
On Saturday morning I woke up early and went to work....to my surprise there was a huge card from my Elders that said "Get Well Soon Sister Orchard- We love you" Life doesn't get much better than that! What sweethearts!
Right after work I went shopping with my niece for her Birthday. SHe and my mom came and picked me up and we shopped all afternoon- man, was I beat! It was fun though to see how I have witnessed my niece grow into a young woman!
That night My boyfriend and I were able to go out and celebrate my nieces birthday with the rest of my family. It was a great time! Crazy at times- but it was so fun to relax and enjoy family! I love'em so much!
We went to Valour afterwards and supported some friends in a concert that they put on. The music was incredible! I was so impressedwith the talent! I loved being there in that environment and loved being with my friends and my boyfriend. Honestly, I felt so blessed and glad to be alive- my weekend rocked! Regardless of be exhausted and in pain my life is so rich! I love the people in my life and am so grateful for what they contribute!